Sunday, 9 August 2015

On peeing

Ladies toilets. The hallowed space in which love lives are drunkenly discussed, phone signals seem possible, and ill-advised selfies are a spacial nuisance.

But it is none of these things that I have an issue with. My bugbear is entirely to do with the intended purpose of the lavatories - using the toilet.

Many women do not like the thought of sitting down on public toilets in case they are encrusted with used needles or spider venom or something. In this case, they choose to 'hover' over the seat while they relieve themselves. Fine. If you want to do that, it's your business. But when you inevitably pee ALL OVER THE SEAT, clean it up afterwards. This isn't a cutesy 'be a sweetie and wipe the seatie' statement; this is a 'stop leaving it for short women' command. Some of us simply lack the leg length to hover over the toilet, and rely on lining the seat and sitting down. I am absolutely fed up and quite frankly nauseated by the amount of pee I have to wipe up before even dreaming of using the toilet. The sheer annoyance of waiting in a queue for ages, only to have one cubicle free up and the seat be slick with urine is immeasurable.

Everyone whines about how disgusting public toilets are, but they would be infinitely better if everyone either lined and sat or quickly wiped the seat after dripping. It is the same people obsessed with toilets being disgusting who are peeing all over them. Stop it. Stop it now.